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To hear these greetings, you need the Real Audio Player 3.0 or greater. You can download a free beta version of the player at

Mission Impossible This greeting starts off with the Mission Impossible theme and then the person talking says Hello caller, your mission, if you chose to except it, is to leave your name and number... Help save poor Fluffy Some of you out there might not think this is funny, but I think it is pretty good. When the caller gets this greeting, he will be told that there is a cat hooked up to a power source and if he choses to hang up without leaving a message the cat will be blown up.
Make My Day This is a good Clint Eastwood greeting. Clint warns that there is only Smith, Wesson, and himself... Elvis The King himself. He sounds like a really destructive guy, esespecially when he smashes a tv. In the end, he offers the caller the possibility of picking out a Cadillac
President George Bush Remember when President Bush said "No new taxes", well now he is saying "No new faxes" but I really think he means it Michael Bolton This is a kinda boring but some of you Bolton fans out there might like it
President Reagan In this greeting, President Reagen complains about talking to a beep and then calls President Bush a ding a ling Spock He says there are no life forms t here but you can leave a message. Kinda boring but does sound a lot like Spock
Kermit the Frog Kermit wants the caller to leave a nice message. He says that you can catch more flies with sugar than you can with vinegar. Madonna This greeting sounds just a little like Madonna but it is pretty funny. So don't just stand there, let's get to it. Download this file; there's nothing to it... vouge! :^)
Rodney Dangerfield This poor guy never gets any respect. He says he called suicide prevention and they tried to talk him into it. Jack Nicholson Jack sounds like he is in a bad mood or something but it is a pretty good greeting...
Phone-O-Matic Wow!! This phone can do it all. This phone chops, slices, dices, and does many other things. Quiz Show This greeting says you have just won a new car but in order to actually win the car you have to state your name, number and the 50 states.
Dial-N-Complain The person caling will hear a greeting about how answering machines are cold and then the announcer will tell the caller that they are on the air. Simply Confusing This greeting tells the caller to punch different buttons on the phone and bark like dog.
Warning 50's style greeting
The untold story The Afterlife Voice Mail System
Another 50's sounding greeting Startrek


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